A Silly Alternative to a Very Real Problem
The following should not be taken seriously, just as
the efforts to change the Mississippi
Flag shouldn’t be. Anyway, do you
think I really care?
The flag you see above is the flag that was recently
determined by the Mississippi Supreme Court NOT to be the official flag of
Mississippi, although it has flown over the Mississippi Capitol long before
any Supreme Court Justice was born.
Certain groups have become outraged because they say it symbolizes
slavery and oppression and is a constant reminder of that era whenever it is
flown. The learned Mississippi Supreme
Court, in its ruling, stated that, since it is not a legally-mandated flag,
that it cannot violate the civil rights of those who oppose it. However, in their never-ending quest to
have the flag replaced with one of a different design, let me offer the
following suggestions as to what colors or designs CAN’T be used.
Red – This would
violate the rights of Mississippi’s Native Americans, which IS the correct
term for this group. An Indian is
someone from India, not someone in a western on TV. Still, a game of “Cowboys and
Native-Americans” just doesn’t sound right.
Black – This would
symbolize the Black Race, regardless
of whether they want to mistakenly use the term “African-American.” If you were born in Africa and proceeded
through due application to the Board of Naturalization and Immigration to
become a U.S. Citizen, then, and only then, is the term used correctly…and
then, only if you came from Africa. This
means that if a black person is born anywhere other than Africa and tries to
use the term “African-American,” they would not be recognized as such. This is not to say that anyone of any race
should disinherit their ancestry, just don’t let it control every action and
move. Above all, the only race we’re
really a member of is the HUMAN RACE.
White – This would
symbolize the White Race. We know that
wouldn’t work. It surely symbolizes
slavery, although anyone with any knowledge of history knows that blacks were
the ones that sold black slaves to the white people long before whites sold
slaves. Slavery is wrong, regardless of who owned who. Don’t try to classify me as a “Scottish
American,” though. I was born in
Mississippi. If anything, I’m a “Southern-American.”
Blue – This would symbolize
the blue-blooded Mississippians of any race, that
fought, whether physically or through legislation, to make the State into
what it is today, which seems to be of little consequence. Too Aristocratic.
Yellow – This would
symbolize the Asian Race.
Purple – This would
symbolize Royalty – the very thing this nation fought to get away from in 1776.
Green – This might
violate the rights of any Alien from another planet that might land here, regardless of whether Elvis is a passenger in the
mothership. It certainly would offend
Marvin the Martian from the Bugs Bunny Cartoons.
Pink – This would
immediately indicate that someone from Mary Kay Cosmetics ruled the state.
Orange – Might indicate
a preference toward safety-vest manufacturers.
Magnolia – Can’t be
used because someone might decide that one of their ancestors was hung from a
Magnolia tree. Besides the Magnolia
blossom is white.
Rose – Excluded because
it appears in most of the colors mentioned above.
Oak Tree, or any other tree – See
Poppy – Might offend
the Drug Enforcement Association.
“Pick-‘em-up Truck” -- This might
indicate a preference to rednecks everywhere.
Can of Skoal or Copenhagen -- See “Pick-‘em-up Truck,” above.
“X” in the upper corner
– Symbolizes the KKK. Symbolizes an
“X” across the Union. Also symbolizes
the Christian Cross. Surely we can’t
display anything that symbolizes the religion this country and state was
founded upon. There might be an
Atheist revolt, or someone in the ACLU might have a heart-attack. How silly.
The 13 stars on the flag – Symbolizes the original 13 colonies, or the 13 states that eventually seceded from the
Union. Wouldn’t want to think that we
actually reunited with the other states at the end of the war, now would we ?
Bull – Now we’re
getting somewhere, although it might indicate a preference to the
legislature, the Supreme Court, or to the Cattlemen’s Association.
I know you’re wondering
by now just where this is going. It’s
going nowhere; as is the effort to change the Mississippi Flag. The only suggested “Official Flag of
Mississippi” should be a piece of clear plastic, cut to the appropriate
dimensions; no colors, no symbols, no inferences to any race (unless the people
cry out that it offends because it symbolizes the makers of plastic). We could see right through that argument
Clearly (no pun
intended), we should spend more of our time concentrating on the murders,
rape, abuse, taxes, roads, or watching cartoons on Saturday mornings. Leave the flag alone and get on with
solving real problems.
I guess, if people
objected to the plastic flag, we could only display the flag pole – and you
and I both know where they can put that !!!