Great Reasons to be a Woman


If you have sex with someone and donít call them the next day, youíre not the Devil.

Condoms make no significant difference in your enjoyment of sex.
If you have to be home in time for
90210, you can say so, out loud.
If youíre not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling.
You can sleep your way to the top.
You can sue the President for sexual harassment.
Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
Itís possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.
No fashion faux pas you make could rival the Speedo.
Brad Pitt.
You donít have to fart to amuse yourself.
If you cheat on your spouse, people assume itís because youíre being emotionally neglected.
YOU never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
Youíll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper.
No one passes out when you take off your shoes.
If you think the person youíre dating really likes you, you donít have to break up with them.
Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.
If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her ass.
If you have a zit, you can conceal it.
You never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still there.
If youíre dumb, some people will find it cute.
You donít have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
You have the ability to dress yourself.
You have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.
You can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
If you marry someone
20 years younger, youíre aware that you look like an idiot.
If youíre wearing cologne, you donít have to pretend itís aftershave.
Youíll probably never see someone you know while peeing in an alley.
Youíll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.
You can quickly end any fight by crying.
Your friends wonít think youíre weird if you ask whether thereís spinach in your teeth.
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
Youíve never had a goatee.
Gay waiters donít make you uncomfortable.
Youíll never
regret piercing your ears.
You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
Youíll never discover youíve been duped by a Wonderbra.
You donít have hair on your back.
You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
You get to hate Kathie Lee in the way only another woman truly can.
Women got off the Titanic first.
You can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
Your boy friendís clothes make you look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in a womanís clothes.
Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
Men die earlier, so women get to cash in on their life insurance.
You donít look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
Taxis stop for women.

Free drinks.

Free dinners.

Free movies (you get the point).

You can hug a friend without wondering if she thinks youíre gay.
You can hug a friend without wondering if YOUíRE gay.
You know The Truth about whether size matters.
Speeding ticket? Whatís that? You can cry and get out of speeding tickets.
New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
You never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in high school.

Youíre NOT a man.