Mississippi’s Flag

A Silly Alternative to a Very Real Problem



The following should not be taken seriously, just as the efforts to change the Mississippi Flag shouldn’t be.  Anyway, do you think I really care?












The flag you see above is the flag that was recently determined by the Mississippi Supreme Court NOT to be the official flag of Mississippi, although it has flown over the Mississippi Capitol long before any Supreme Court Justice was born.  Certain groups have become outraged because they say it symbolizes slavery and oppression and is a constant reminder of that era whenever it is flown.  The learned Mississippi Supreme Court, in its ruling, stated that, since it is not a legally-mandated flag, that it cannot violate the civil rights of those who oppose it.  However, in their never-ending quest to have the flag replaced with one of a different design, let me offer the following suggestions as to what colors or designs CAN’T be used.






Red – This would violate the rights of Mississippi’s Native Americans, which IS the correct term for this group.  An Indian is someone from India, not someone in a western on TV.  Still, a game of “Cowboys and Native-Americans” just doesn’t sound right.


Black – This would symbolize the Black Race, regardless of whether they want to mistakenly use the term “African-American.”  If you were born in Africa and proceeded through due application to the Board of Naturalization and Immigration to become a U.S. Citizen, then, and only then, is the term used correctly…and then, only if you came from Africa.  This means that if a black person is born anywhere other than Africa and tries to use the term “African-American,” they would not be recognized as such.  This is not to say that anyone of any race should disinherit their ancestry, just don’t let it control every action and move.  Above all, the only race we’re really a member of is the HUMAN RACE.


White – This would symbolize the White Race.  We know that wouldn’t work.  It surely symbolizes slavery, although anyone with any knowledge of history knows that blacks were the ones that sold black slaves to the white people long before whites sold slaves.  Slavery is wrong, regardless of who owned who.  Don’t try to classify me as a “Scottish American,” though.  I was born in Mississippi.  If anything, I’m a “Southern-American.”


Blue – This would symbolize the blue-blooded Mississippians of any race, that fought, whether physically or through legislation, to make the State into what it is today, which seems to be of little consequence.  Too Aristocratic.


Yellow – This would symbolize the Asian Race.  


Purple – This would symbolize Royalty – the very thing this nation fought to get away from in 1776.


Green – This might violate the rights of any Alien from another planet that might land here, regardless of whether Elvis is a passenger in the mothership.  It certainly would offend Marvin the Martian from the Bugs Bunny Cartoons.


Pink – This would immediately indicate that someone from Mary Kay Cosmetics ruled the state.


Orange – Might indicate a preference toward safety-vest manufacturers.






Magnolia – Can’t be used because someone might decide that one of their ancestors was hung from a Magnolia tree.  Besides the Magnolia blossom is white.


Pansy – Self-explanatory


Rose – Excluded because it appears in most of the colors mentioned above.


Oak Tree, or any other tree  See Magnolia.


Poppy – Might offend the Drug Enforcement Association.


“Pick-‘em-up Truck” --  This might indicate a preference to rednecks everywhere.


Can of Skoal or Copenhagen --  See “Pick-‘em-up Truck,” above.


“X” in the upper corner – Symbolizes the KKK.  Symbolizes an “X” across the Union.  Also symbolizes the Christian Cross.  Surely we can’t display anything that symbolizes the religion this country and state was founded upon.  There might be an Atheist revolt, or someone in the ACLU might have a heart-attack.  How silly.


The 13 stars on the flag – Symbolizes the original 13 colonies, or the 13 states that eventually seceded from the Union.  Wouldn’t want to think that we actually reunited with the other states at the end of the war, now would we ?


Bull – Now we’re getting somewhere, although it might indicate a preference to the legislature, the Supreme Court, or to the Cattlemen’s Association.






I know you’re wondering by now just where this is going.  It’s going nowhere; as is the effort to change the Mississippi Flag.  The only suggested “Official Flag of Mississippi” should be a piece of clear plastic, cut to the appropriate dimensions; no colors, no symbols, no inferences to any race (unless the people cry out that it offends because it symbolizes the makers of plastic).  We could see right through that argument (pun intended).


Clearly (no pun intended), we should spend more of our time concentrating on the murders, rape, abuse, taxes, roads, or watching cartoons on Saturday mornings.  Leave the flag alone and get on with solving real problems.


I guess, if people objected to the plastic flag, we could only display the flag pole – and you and I both know where they can put that !!!